Thoughts on the Joy of Being OB$ES$ED
Including getting over being cringe about it
I live my life floating from one obsession to the next. Mainly due to a crippling social media addiction (Threads is my go-to place), I love getting swept up in one new whirlwind after another. At the moment, it’s the Louvre Heist, because who doesn’t love the idea of thieves “breaking in” at 9.30am and then making their getaway on mopeds.
The internet feels, for a moment, a nice place to be. Everyone in a good mood (because although it is awful that priceless treasures have been taken, there’s no argument there), it captures everyone’s imagination, and sense of humour for a few days.
But then there are always the people that want to spoil it.
On Friday 3rd October, Taylor Swift blessed us with her new album The Life of The Showgirl, and I’m obviously obsessed with this, too.
Taylor’s album caused so much reaction - from people who loved it to, to those who thought it was the worst thing to ever be set to record. Even self-titled “Swifties” took to the internet to complain. No one seemed happy. But me? I loved it! A few years ago, I would have been scared to share that I liked Taylor Swift. She was not cool and to admit you liked her was so… cringe.
But, just to briefly dive into Taylor Swift lore, all her new albums get this reaction at first - because it’s cool to criticise. Is there also something about tearing down powerful women, here? But then… people accept that her new music is ok, actually it’s quite great, and then she’s cited as the voice of a generation all over again, and the cycle repeats. Her title song The Fate of Ophelia is now the most streamed song on Spotify… ever.
In an interview, Taylor once said:
“The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something…
“I don’t think you should ever have to apologise for your excitement”
So often, we’re crushed by other people’s disdain, indifference or cynicism for something we love. We go away feeling like there’s something wrong with us for liking what we like. But the problem isn’t with us.
Is it a case of people wanting superiority? Or fear and not wanting to admit what they love in case they are singled out? Is it a projection of their own unfulfilled desires?
But there is something so freeing about letting people just talk about the things they love with no judgement.
Caitlin Moran, another big influence on me, and I know she raises eyebrows too, but, she once wrote a column with posthumous advice for her daughter. In it, she encouraged her to always listen to the person sat next to them at the dinner table, no matter how boring their favourite subject was, because:
“Whenever you can’t think of something to say in a conversation, ask people questions instead. Even if you’re next to a man who collects pre-Seventies screws and bolts, you will probably never have another opportunity to find out so much about pre-Seventies screws and bolts, and you never know when it will be useful.”
People light up when they talk about the things they love.
This is a little digression, but, when I was researching this (because I wanted to get it right - did she say nails or doorknobs? Ah screws), but it led me down a lovely internet hole reading through some of CM’s old articles, and she does say some spot on things. Including this:
Some people aren’t just people, but a place - a whole world. Sometimes you find someone you could live in for the rest of your life.
Isn’t that just gorgeous?
But back to what I was saying about obsessions, and the joy that shines from people when they get the chance to talk about them.
My partner gets some very unusual obsessions. Previous ones have included:
Crocs and their accessories
Cold opens from Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon. Extra points for John Oliver
Clairo
Carbonara (made with guanciale only)
Shoelaces and shoe protection sprays
Different brands of soy sauces
Knee pillows
Phone cases
Currently, it’s fountain pens. He just gets really into them. He talks about them like a connoisseur, and with so much genuine happiness, knowledge and pride. It’s funny and unusual and kind of adorable.
There’s something so joyful, potent and contagious about seeing someone’s eyes light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about. Like Ben, talking about his knee pillows, he’s taught me so much about be loud and proud about the things that bring me joy.
But yet there’s still a fear. A craving to be part of the gang. Recently I posted a Thread about Reformers pilates, saying: “I am LOVING Reformers at the moment (I know, very basic girlie)” anticipating the eye-rolls I thought I would get, and two very wonderful ladies responded:
“Congrats! Definitely not basic! The Reformer and mat are great ways to learn and practice Pilates”
“Girl!!! Loving Reformer is not basic. Good for you for loving it right now! It being basic is just social media talk! Real Pilates is hard no matter what form… Happy for you.”
From strangers. On the internet.
So, no more little voice - even if what I love is cringey. We are what we like and we don’t have to fit the Instagram aesthetic telling us what that should look like.
What are you obsessed with? Let me know in the comments!